So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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