My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
