So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
