Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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