oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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