Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
