She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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