You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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