i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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