Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Slut skills are useful in every country.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
