p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
