His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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