? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
