Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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