so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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