Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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