I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize