let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
