I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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