I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize