that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize