I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
