Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize