I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize