i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
