ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
