Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Randomize
