I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Less talking, more tequila
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize