Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
