i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
