Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Bring me that man meat
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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