well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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