"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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