So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize