Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
