if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize