quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
