I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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