Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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