How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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