The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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