This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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