hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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