all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
