like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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