nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
