My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize