Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
