i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
