He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
