Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
