If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
