Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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