i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
