you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
