do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
