So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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