At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
