Rock
Scissors
Fuck
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
