butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
