yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
