and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize