Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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