Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize