batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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