Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can't turn off my feet"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
