i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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