I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
