I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
