it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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