I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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