i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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