The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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