let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
