I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize