WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
