Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
