were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
