I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
