why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
